The Sound of Silence
by LightandSound
Summary: Claude Sheffield was always considered the failure of the three Sheffield children. He was unloved by both his mother and father and overshadowed by his brother and sister. With the departure of his sister on her Pokemon journey, Claude hopes for a change to come to his life. A change that could give him what he wants most, a life where he felt loved and happy.
1. Goodbye

**A/N: Hello. This is the first fanfic I've felt brave enough to post so... Enjoy reading.**

* * *

Chapter 1: Goodbye

I felt a heavy sensation on my body when I felt myself lurch out of the deep sleep I was in. It was a sensation that I was never fond of every morning, but it was so much more pronounced today. I felt as if I couldn't get up, that it was sleep itself that drained my energy. Then, I felt the rays of the sun hit my eyes, forcing them to open. My vision was blurry and the rays were visibly cutting through my bedroom window and they were orange. It felt slightly wrong seeing that light, for most of my mornings were dark.

_Weird… Probably must've overslept._ I turned to my alarm clock, which read seven in the morning.

I sighed from reading that, I had indeed overslept today. Normally, I would be panicking waking up at this hour, but my obligations to school were at least over. It registered to my mind that it was summer, and I no longer needed to wake up early. With my anxieties rested, I got up and walked up to my closet. However, as I looked through the pile of haphazardly organized articles of clothing, I had realized something… There was a significance to today, something important was going to happen, but I had no idea _what_.

Then, it hit me…

My sister, Alexis, was going to leave today. Today was the day of her Pokemon journey, she would no longer be in this house, she would be off in the world. When I had realized that fact, a cold feeling of emptiness washed over me. The realization that she'd no longer be here had almost knocked me to the floor, but I had to take control of myself. I had known this was coming… It had been her dream to raise and train Pokemon, I was in no position to refuse her that chance for my own comfort, yet... I just didn't realize it would hit me so hard…

I heaved a sigh, and tried to grab the nicest set of clothes I had. A sports coat, pair of jeans, and a flannel shirt. It was definitely not something to wear for a journey and perhaps too ostentatious… But I was hoping that Oak's lab would get the message that I would not be a trainer. Today was Alexis' day and it should be rightfully hers alone. I grabbed my clothes and stowed away to the bathroom as quick I could, in the hopes that I wouldn't wake anyone.

I had felt a lot more anxious that I should've today. My mind and body were in absolute overdrive. I had brushed my teeth with more force than I intended, I got through my shower a lot more quickly than I imagined. I put on my clothes on and I surprisingly felt refreshed, but somehow, things still felt off.

The whole situation was maddening, and the fact that I was letting it affect me more than it should didn't help matters. Alexis was going to leave, and nothing else would change… Nothing else would change. _Nothing else will change_. I kept repeating to myself, but each repetition grew more weak and weak… Things _were_ going to change, and in the bottom of my heart, I knew they weren't for the better.

Regardless, I needed to spur myself on… I went back to my room, which looking at it from a visitor's standpoint, felt incredibly small now. Thankfully, the smallness of my bedroom made it easy to navigate, since the room was an absolute _mess_. Messy clothing and papers was strewn everywhere, and it was incredibly disorganized. My bag was lying to my bed, half opened, possibly from the stupor I had felt from the last day of school. I glanced at the alarm clock and sat down on my bed, it was half an hour before eight. I had time to kill before my parents and sister wake up.

I felt a bit of a growl hit my stomach as I was about to space out and stare at my closet door. Damn it, I had to be hungry now. I contemplated just sitting there and let my hunger play out until lunch… Perhaps unwisely, I was used to my body reacting like this, and my breakfast cycles were incredibly sporadic. However, I knew that my parents would be more alert than usual since this would possibly be the last time that their daughter will see them face-to-face, aside from the holiday visits. I was tempted to let my mother handle breakfast duty, but my father had to have the talent of a voracious and taste catching eater… He'd notice and the consequences would be dire if I abandoned my duties.

I glanced at the alarm clack, it was now 20 minutes from 8. I was wasting time thinking. It was looking like breakfast was going to be a rush job. _Crap…_ I scurried around my room for my phone and shoved it into my jeans. I seemed to be really out of it this morning, and this would not bode well later in the day when Alexis was gone, but I couldn't think about the future, it was imperative that I try to fix _something_ up before mom, father, and Alexis woke up.

I made a mad dash out of my bedroom and into the kitchen downstairs. Compared to my little, dinghy room, the house was very spacious. It had all the amenities you could think of for an upper class family, a nice TV, large living room, and a kitchen with a whole bunch of utilities that had, in the past, saved my life and cooking from disastrous to tolerable. Thankfully, the house wasn't a maze and I made my way into the kitchen, which I found was already pre-prepared with all the materials I needed to make the whole family's breakfast.

It was probably my mother who set up all of this, and if she did, I made a mental note to thank her before I left for Oak's lab. This would've saved me half an hour at the least, since the kitchen pantries were sometimes arranged in confusing combinations. I also found directions for how to prepare the breakfasts for my mother and father and followed them to the letter. I still question why the both of them, especially my father, had insisted on making breakfast such a gourmet affair…

I sighed and worked on my father's breakfast first. I grabbed a stack of pancakes from one of the prepared boxes and put them on a plate. I checked back on the directions, and had to grab some berries from one of the kitchen drawers. I grabbed a bag of blackberries that were purely human grown for human consumption, since father did not like berries that were fed for Pokemon. I then put a few blackberries on father's pancake stack, which thankfully, there were only three pancakes. I grabbed some syrup that was next to the box and poured a helping of it onto the pancakes. That was the first part done, so I glanced by at the instructions again. _An omelet, are you serious, an omelet? Aren't blueberry pancakes with syrup enough?_

I followed the instructions to the letter and set the frozen omelet to the microwave. I concentrated on watching the food turn until I heard footsteps. I felt my body tense and I immediately turned around… Upon seeing the figure, I relaxed, but I felt myself also becoming incredibly empty. It was Alexis, all ready in her trainer attire. I felt a certain pang of pain hit my heart but I needed to concentrate, so I put on a smile on my face.

"Hey, do you need anything?" I asked of her.

She looked pensive for a moment, it was likely she saw through my façade. Nevertheless, she had approached near the instructions.

"Do you want me to prepare Mom's breakfast?" She offered, and that took me aback a little bit.

I couldn't ask that of her, and father would have my head if she had to do chores alongside me. However, I desperately needed the help.

"Where are…" I started to ask.

"They're in the shower, we still have time. I'll skip out on mine if I have to." She replied, a smile on her face as she began to work on mom's food.

"N-no… I'll prepare yours for you, _I'll_ skip out. He'll get… Angry…" I tried to whisper that last part, but it was clear she heard.

Alexis was about to ask me who was 'he,' but a look of realization dawned on her face. She then went back to preparing the food and the beeping of a finished microwave blared throughout the room. At the signal, I immediately opened it and set on putting the blueberry pancakes and omelet on one plate. I grabbed a big plate and tried to neatly put transfer the food, but some of the contents of the freshly heated omelet had to leak out, leaving a small mess on the kitchen counter.

It had almost sent me into a panic, but I immediately grabbed some paper towels to clean the mess… I had no idea how much time had passed, or if our parents were about to come from their shower. I set father's plate on the table as I then had to reassess myself. I heard the showers turn off and that sent my heart off racing again. Alexis' breakfast had not been started yet.

_Ugh, why do I have to be so incompetent at everything!?_ I mentally screamed at myself, but thankfully, preparing my sister's breakfast was easy. I literally shoved some pancakes onto a plate and then put some bacon, and then shoved it into the microwave. It was a very messy combination and I was hoping that she wouldn't notice my rush job, but she did.

"So I get shafted on the day I set off from my journey? Hurts." She said, an expression of fake hurt on her face.

I was tempted to scoff, but I was more worried about getting the table ready. Once her food was done, I yanked open the microwave and almost dropped it since it was hot. I set Alexis and father's food on the table as she set mom's… I let out a sigh of relief, we were _done_. I sat down to the chair next to Alexis' on the dining table and she was intently eating.

It was then that I heard my parents coming downstairs. I looked to Alexis and she seemed to understand that I needed to leave. I silently excused myself from the table and obediently set myself near the wall as both father and mother walked to the table. Once I heard the seats being filled, I quickly made haste for upstairs, not wanting to face father's wrath.

I then went to my room, closing the door as I sat myself down on my bed. I enjoyed these momentary bouts of silence, where I could let my thoughts run without having an audience. I read the clock, it was 30 minutes before nine. The Oak lab was due to open and soon, both my sister and I would be walking there. However, even then, I felt no change… Just this lingering emptiness hanging above my head. I needed to relax…

I felt myself space out, staring into the wall. I started to feel time escape my grasp. It was a surreal feeling, but a feeling I savored. Perhaps it was indicative of a sad and pathetic life, but the ability to be able to clear your mind of all the worries felt like a luxury. I felt my concentration breaking when I heard a knocking on the door, then its creaking, revealing it to be my sister.

"Claude, it's time. Get ready, they're allowing you to come." Alexis announced, walking away but leaving the door open.

I was left staring at the door until I had to get my bearings. It was weird hearing my name being said, but nonetheless, I had to heed the fact that it was time to go. I stood up and immediately exited the room, it was going to be a short trek, there was nothing for me to bring.

Once I saw Alexis waiting by the staircase, I walked downstairs with her. It felt excruciatingly slow, almost agonizing to a point. Once we reached the landing, I could see my father and mother, but their eyes were all focused on Alexis today. Then, she ran and hugged them. A small smile crept on my face as I watched the scene, it was as if a different family had taken the place of the family I was used to. She hugged mom first, and then went onto father. I felt a pang and perhaps some bitterness in my heart as I watched the tender way that my father treated and hugged Alexis. Regardless, once the scene was done, Alexis waved the both of them goodbye and I dutifully followed her to the front door.

As soon as Alexis was out of their view and I was in front of them, the father that had hugged her was no longer gone, replaced with one I was familiar with, the one I feared with all my life… I turned around and saw my father giving me an intense glare. I felt myself frozen in place from my father's glare, I felt my body tense up and I felt unaware my surroundings.

It wasn't until Alexis had shaken my arm that I was brought back to reality.

"Are you alright, Claude? Come on."

I turned my head away from father and to Alexis when she said that. I had felt dazed and I felt myself about to give out, I needed to _get out_. Thankfully, she had opened the door in my stupor. I had walked out in a rush and waited for her on the dirt road… She had a confused expression as she walked down, and I felt a touch of guilt when I saw that. Once we were together, we began the walk to Oak's lab.

"What was that about? You looked really scared…" Alexis asked, our pace slowing when she asked that.

That almost stopped me in my tracks, and I felt my heart warm up to the amount of concern she showed, but I felt guilty. She shouldn't be concerned about me, she was about to start what she has dreamed of for _years._

"I… Don't worry about me. Today's your day, I'll be fine, now come on." I replied back, trying to shoot down whatever question she had.

Alexis seemed to be satisfied with that answer, and so we kept on walking. Thankfully, Pallet Town, our hometown, was small. It made the trek to Professor Oak's lab easy on the legs and there didn't seem to be that many people outside. Perhaps we came in too early…

"Were we too early?" Alexis asked, mirroring my thoughts.

"Maybe we should ask." I shot back quickly, I wasn't about to go back to the house and start waiting.

Alexis didn't seem to mind my answer, so she led the way to the entrance. I followed her, hoping that it was open, and to my relief, Oak's lab was indeed open. I entered the lab and took in the sights… It felt surreal to be here, perhaps it was because I was older now, three years older than what a starting trainer would be. However, I noticed that there was a group of three Pokeballs, _the starters_, and Alexis was about to pull off the cover lid until.

"Ah, the Sheffields! Hello Alexis, and hello to you too Claude!" Oak's voice broke me off from my reverie.

I waved to him slowly, too stunned to speak.

"Hello Professor Oak." Alexis responded for the both of us.

"I presume you are here to retrieve your starter Pokemon, right? Well, here they are!"

Oak walked over to the closed Pokeballs. He grabbed all three of them and unveiled the Pokemon inside. After a brief flash of white light, the forms of Bulbasaur, Squirtle, and Charmander were there, all staring at Alexis. I saw her contemplate the three for minute, then set her sights on the small blue turtle.

"I choose Squirtle." She said, an air of confidence in her voice indicative that she made the right decision.

"Good! I'll give you Squirtle's Pokeball and I'll also grab a Pokedex for you as well. So, are you going to give Squirtle a nickname?" Oak asked.

This prodded Alexis to go in thought once again.

"Hmm… Maybe Noel?"

The whole scene had made my heart warm, but a certain part of me couldn't bear watching it… There was an emotion inside of me that I feared would pop up, and I had no excuse or even a right to display or even feel it, but I felt _jealousy_. I felt those pangs of jealousy when I saw Alexis hug her new Squirtle in happiness. Sure, it made me happy that she was finally experiencing what she had waited for. All I could do was muster a smile when she looked at me with joy. However, I felt something tug at my legs…

I looked down, it was the Bulbasaur from the group of starters. I presume that Charmander was probably back in the pokeball, but I was surprised that any pokemon was attracted by my presence. Once it knew that it caught my attention, the grass-type looked at me with pleading eyes.

"Bulba…" It softly said, its eyes still gazed at my direction, still pleading for _something_.

I knelt down to the Pokemon, unsure of how to respond to it.

"Ah, it seems this Bulbasaur wants to come with you, Claude!" Oak announced.

That jolted me away from the seed pokemon to Oak, who had already gave a Pokedex to Alexis and I could see another one in his other hand. I became confused, but then I realized what the Bulbasaur wanted… It wanted to come with me…

"Claude, it likes you." Alexis said, walking over to me and the Bulbasaur, as was Oak.

"I… I…" I couldn't say anything.

Something like this should not have stunned me in silence, but… As a child, I had always held this belief that Pokemon always sought out the strongest humans as trainers, especially trainers. I was never someone strong, certainly not physically, and certainly not emotionally or mentally. It was part of the reason I never decided to become a trainer… I thought I wasn't strong enough.

It had been once my dream to be a trainer. Inside, I wanted to take this chance, but… Something inside me told me no, that I should let another trainer take this Bulbasaur on a journey. I had no idea what to do…

"Alexis is right." Oak suddenly affirmed, catching my attention.

"I know you have your reservations, but I know deep inside that you want to be a Pokemon trainer. It seems like a great undertaking, but I have faith that you'll persevere." There was silence, as Oak kneeled down in front of me…

I knew what he was going to ask…

"Are you willing to be a Pokemon trainer, Claude?" Oak asked, with a finality in his voice…

I had no idea how to respond, nor how to react. Here it was, what I wanted for so long, but inside, I didn't feel ready. I had nothing packed for a journey, no food, no bag, nothing… I had _nothing_. I looked to my sister as well, she was smiling, willing me to say yes. I couldn't bare to look at that smile any further… I would only slow her down if I accepted, I would be a load, a nuisance in the journey. I looked down at the Bulbasaur, then to the floor… I knew what my choice was now.

"I… I can't." I said, my voice a faint whisper.

There was silence, I glanced at Oak… He was clearly disappointed, but something had told me that he had expected that answer.

"Oh… I hoped you would've said yes. I understand why, but that Bulbasaur and you would've made a great fit." Oak mustered, trying to inject some positivity into the whole situation.

"Anyway, you two best be off now, I'm pretty sure other kids are waiting. Come on, Bulbasaur!" Oak waved to the Bulbasaur to come over, and it hesitantly walked over to the professor.

"Thank you, Professor Oak, and goodbye." Alexis said, waving to the professor as he waved back. I followed suit.

"You are welcome, Alexis… May you have a safe journey. Claude, please reconsider." Oak pleaded at the end.

As I exited the lab with my sister, I had thought about Oak's words… It's likely that Bulbasaur would've been claimed by a trainer in the near future, and that thought made me sad. I wanted to take care of it, but I had made my choice, and I was stuck with it… I wondered if I would ever see it again. Perhaps that Bulbasaur would be in better hands. I convinced myself that the decision I made was right, and repeated that mantra… _Bulbasaur will be in better hands… Bulbasaur will be in better hands…_

The walk to the entrance to route 1 was agonizingly slow and she had let her new Squirtle, Noel, out to enjoy the walk. I saw the starter glance at me every once in a while, looking at me with apprehensive eyes. As Alexis, Noel, and I walked, I glanced at the blue turtle with a blank expression, but he didn't seem to be looking.

We reached the border between Pallet Town and route 1... This was it, the goodbye. The moment I had dreaded all year, the moment that I didn't want to face. Surprisingly, I was calm about it. I faced Alexis with the strongest expression I had, but I knew she could see past it. For whatever walls and dams I had built inside me, I wasn't ready to let her go…

"Well… This is goodbye…" Alexis started awkwardly.

I nodded, not knowing how to react… My walls had started to crumble and emotions began to grip me. I hadn't wanted to react like this…

"Claude…" She softly said.

I felt myself enveloped in a hug as I laid my head on her shoulders, quietly sobbing. In that moment, the full gravity of Alexis' leaving had hit me. These months of conditioning and reminding myself that Alexis would be leaving never helped… After a few seconds, I managed to get myself back together, just sniffles in my face as I pulled back from my sister.

"I'm sorry… I shouldn't have… I didn't mean to…" I started to say, but she put a hand on my shoulder.

"It's okay, brother…" She replied, smiling.

That prompted me to hug her again, but I had a better hold on my emotions this time… From the corner of my eye, I could see Noel reacting a little bit to the scene, thought in a way that was grudging.

"Stay safe, Alexis. Be strong… Go out there and show them what you can do." I whispered to her.

"I will, I will, you don't have to worry about me. Maybe next year you could be doing this." Alexis whispered to me.

That garnered an instant chuckle from me.

"Sis, you know how I am with Pokemon…" I responded.

We pulled each other from the hug and I waved goodbye to her and Noel… I watched them both walk away into Route 1, leading to Viridian City. It was weird seeing their outlines get smaller and smaller. I heard the sounds of 10-year olds behind me and I turned around, they were running to the place I was in.

I took that as my cue to leave, but I turned around one last time. Alexis and her Squirtle were gone from my eyes, possibly in Viridian City now. With a deep breath, I turned to the direction of Pallet Town.

I would have to face my parents now… Alexis would no longer be there to comfort or rescue me. The empty feeling from this morning had returned, except it felt stronger this time. It slowed my pace down, I was instinctively delaying the walk back to my house…

Yet, as I saw the trickle of kids, new trainers, run down to Route 1... The pain erupted there, and it blew me down to my feet…

For the first time in a while, I felt alone…


	2. Seeds

**A/N: Hello again. For anyone that has read this little story of mine, thank you so much. **

**Just a little disclaimer I've forgotten: I in no way shape or form own Pokemon. They are owned by their creators, Nintendo, Game Freak, and Satoshi Tajiri. Any character that you don't recognize from canon (either game or anime) is of my own creation.**

**Enjoy reading.**

* * *

"You useless shit!"

I felt myself thrown to the floor by my father, and I felt my vision blur and become groggy, with darkness covering my eyes. My body tensed for the pain that would come, and that pain did come. Every excruciating inch of pain came. He kicked me in the stomach first, then in the ribs… Each kick had my body screaming in pain, but I refused to make a sound. No, I would not make a sound…

I felt my face grimace in pain as he delivered the final kick to my torso, but I kept it hidden as best I could on the floor. After a few seconds, I felt nothing… No kicks, no punches, not even a stomp on my legs or face. I was surprised… I looked up to see the form of my mother, who was looking down… Shame and fear was on her face. I then looked around the kitchen to see if father was nearby. Surprisingly, he was not in the room.

Without a sound, I got up, clasping my torso with both hands. As conditioned as I was to these beatings, my body was still fragile. Mentally, I had learned how to block the pain, I knew how to stomach it without crying out in pain. It was a skill I wasn't especially proud of, but it had helped me throughout the years. Then, I heard my Mother come up and walk over to me.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

I nodded silently and she helped me get up. The concern and sudden care that my Mother showed is something of a recent development. In the past, like father, I was nothing special to her, just useless space. I don't know what caused her to change her perception of me, I certainly didn't do anything to help. However, this recent development only came after my brother, Xavier, left…

_Xavier_… I thought, that name sparked some emotion from me. Some of anger, some of frustration, guilt, and shame. Three years ago, like Alexis, Xavier had left on his own Pokemon journey while I had to stay behind. Unlike Alexis, I have no fond memories of Xavier. What makes this worse is that Xavier and I are twins… And that unlike myself, Xavier had fulfilled his dreams of becoming a Pokemon trainer and had used his natural talent and aptitude with Pokemon to ultimately propel him into a midnight celebrity here in Kanto.

He was the winner of Indigo League, but there is a particular bad memory that I seemed to have repressed when he came back home after that. I decided not to chance it and focus on walking with my mother instead… I didn't want to think about my brother anymore.

"Hey, it looks like Xavier saved you…" My mother suddenly commented, nodding her head to my father, who was watching a Pokemon conference in the living room.

We walked close enough to be able to see what was shown on the TV without attracting my father's attention. From what I could see, it was a battle between two trainers… A few seconds later, a closeups on those trainers faces had happened, and one of them was indeed Xavier. He had a determined expression on his face, but his eyes… He seemed to be staring at his opponent as if he were ready to dismember them inside and out, or at least their Pokemon. The intensity at which he looked at the other trainer was a bit disquieting to see.

"Come on Claude, go upstairs, alright?" She requested of me as she squeezed my arms.

I nodded and scurried on upstairs as quick I could. The residual pain from today's beating had not allowed me to move as fast I'd hoped, but I had suffered far, far worse in the past. There were injuries I never thought I'd survive or even hope to live through. Today was awfully light and even… Regardless, I was thankful that for today, Xavier on TV would distract my father.

I reached my room and entered it, slowly closing the door as to not attract the attention of my mother or father. I then laid down on the bed, as carefully as I could to prevent my body from going through more pain. I started to space out to the ceiling and my mind started to blank out, but some thoughts ran through my head…

It had only been yesterday that Alexis had left the house and had set off her on her Pokemon journey. Even though the atmosphere hadn't really changed since her leaving, there was a certain sense of emptiness to this house without her. She was so positive, so loving, and she brought out the best in people, even from father. Without that positivity here, there was nothing to hold my father back… Even though today was lighter than usual, there was nothing to restrain my father from killing me…

That train of thought was enough to send me sitting up, even though my body protested against it. Without my sister as witness, my father could do _anything he _wanted without any repercussions. He could kill me today, tomorrow, or perhaps a year from now… And no one would care. If there was one thing, my father had the gift of lying to people… He could easily twist my death into an accident, and no one would bat a suspicious eye to that.

I laid down on my bed once again, at a loss of what to do. I knew that I would be out of this house in the distant future, assuming I don't do something to enact father's rage, but something inside me told me to run from home _now_. I tried to shut down that feeling, but it kept growing and growing. I knew that feeling was illogical, as much as I abhor living in the house, it was the only roof above my head, the only bed I could lay in, and the only house I could live in. There was nowhere for me to go to, no relatives that would be willing to take me in, much less if there are any relatives in the various cities of Kanto.

I laid down there for what seemed like an eternity, and then I heard footsteps on the stairs, my father and mother must've been coming upstairs. I sat myself up immediately, trying to ignore the pain that my torso radiated, and looked at the door, preparing for either one of them to come. To my surprise, they didn't… I heard the closing of one of the doors and silence right after.

The thought of escaping from the house ran through my mind again. _Claude, this is stupid… This IS stupid. Stop thinking about it!_ I yelled mentally, but it wasn't working. I still had that urge to escape… I took a deep breath and walked to the closet door, opening it to reveal all of the articles of clothing I have and the old bags I used before I went to Pallet Town Junior High. The whole area was just an absolute mess so I closed the door, noting to look through it later.

I then turned to the bag that I've been using ever since I was 11 that was lying against the floor. The black backpack that my mother brought me a week before I started going to Junior High. The bag was surprisingly durable and sturdy for a bag meant only for school use, but it was starting to show wear and tear. The black shine that used to be on the bag was long gone and there were some tiny holes bottom, caused from my spiral notebook prongs becoming loose and piercing the fabric. Regardless, it withstood 3 years of being shuffled around, kicked around, or thrown to the floor whenever I was frustrated. I just wondered if it could withstand a journey, being out in the wilderness, or heaven forbid, being assaulted by a wild pokemon.

I opened it and all I saw was endless amounts of paper of various colors, mostly white, on the bag. I saw the calculator in the bag's hidden pocket that I needed for Algebra, and I took it out to keep it from being squished any further. I closed it, the front bag could be used for clothes, but the amount would be incredibly finite… I then felt the bag's smaller pockets, the ones on the left and right, both seemed to be empty but I opened them regardless. I saw nothing inside so I closed them.

This bag was definitely not a journey-able backpack. There was enough space for clothes but not enough pockets for food or any of the other amenities that a trainer needs… But, I wasn't planning on visiting Oak to become a trainer, so it nixes the need for extra pockets. I knew internally that it was a foolish decision, I was going to put myself in the path where there would be wild Pokemon everywhere, and I would be unable to defend myself if I were attacked by one.

_But I can't take this anymore… I can't take living here anymore… I don't want to… I don't want to be confined to a place where I am nothing, a tool for my father to beat on… _I thought, trying to convince myself that escaping would be a better option.

I sat down my bed again, letting myself space out. I had no idea what to do now… My heart wanted to escape, to just be able to go on a journey and at least try to recapture what Xavier and Alexis felt when they set on their journeys. However, my mind thought it was foolish to escape… I had no way to defend myself from wild Pokemon and I have no companion to travel with, just my bag, the clothes on bag, and my head.

I sighed, I genuinely had no idea what to do. I wasn't allowed near the TV downstairs and I certainly wasn't allowed near my sister's room. There was no way to quell my anxiety… Then, I caught a glance of a paper that was sticking out from the red notebook on my bedroom, the incredibly small bedroom desk next to my bed. I sat up from my bed and pulled the desk chair outwards, sitting on it and opening the notebook… I knew it was a silly idea, but nothing was going to stop my heart from getting what it wants, and perhaps even needs. I needed to do this.

I am going to write to my sister. I'm not sure if this was sensible, this felt indicative that it was a sign that my distant future would be me into an asylum. I was only doing this due to the fact that perhaps many birds have informed me that writing to the ones closest to you, whether or not there was an intention to send the correspondence to that party, was therapeutic and cathartic. I never thought much about it, but now... I desperately needed a release, and perhaps aimless writing would do the trick.

_Dear Alexis,_

_How have you been? Has your journey been alright? Have you caught many Pokemon?_

_I'm sorry if it's beginning to be a series of questions... It's just, I know that a Pokemon journey is arduous, and I was just hoping if you were alright. Maybe I'm being overprotective... I know it's not been long since you have left, but a gut instinct inside me has told me that change is going to happen soon. I don't know whether that change will be good or bad, but I feel the tides of change flowing over this house. It has gotten the family all on edge and the atmosphere feels much more tense than it did before._

_I'm hoping not to entice you to come back, but when you left... The house felt different. It felt empty, it felt hollow. It felt as if everything became a mere shell of itself. The light that once shone in this house is gone, the fire that once kept this house warm is gone... Replaced with emptiness and an icy, almost threatening atmosphere. Father... His stares have become more intense. He has become... More unhinged. Mother is trying her best, but... It won't be long until father... Until father decides to kill... Either me... Or my mother... I..._

_Alexis, I beg you, it's best if you stay as far away from this house as possible. I know he sees you, along with Xavier, as one of his golden children. He would condemn himself to hell were he to accidentally lay his hand on you. I'm sounding like an overprotective fool, but this Pokemon journey is the safest thing in the world from this family. Everything is falling apart... It doesn't seem like it now, but the cracks in the foundation are showing... _

I paused at that last paragraph... I wanted to convey my plan of escape to her, but I had no idea how to write it out without sounding foolish. I put the pencil down and looked out of the small window, watching as time ticked and the light slowly shifted. There was still light, though it was beginning to carry an orange hue to it. It was almost sunset and night was fast approaching. I sighed... Night was my least favorite time of the day... It was... It was when... It was when unspeakable things happened... In the night, no one would be watching. No soul, neither pokemon nor human, would be watching or observing this house. Night was isolation, a cage...

I turned back to the paper in front of me, with pencil in hand. I needed to finish this letter.

_Alexis, I have a plan... I know it sounds incredibly foolish, but I can't stand living here anymore... Time without you has made me realize that life as it is right now, is an endless cycle. A cycle of being put down, berated, and beaten... Alexis, it never ends. I can't be stuck as a toy for my father's amusement, I can't live here forever... It's something I should have done long ago..._

_I'm going to run away._

_I don't know how, and I'm not even sure if it'll even work... But... _

I immediately put the pencil down and took a deep breath. This wasn't the release I was expecting, and I definitely wasn't expecting that writing a letter would be at this extreme degree of difficulty. I knew what was wrong with it... I had too much to say, I'd inevitably end up repeating myself through the whole discourse and the letter would go on for too long. Plus, it's only been one day... As I had written letter, I'd realized that Alexis' leaving had truly not settled in yet, there are emotions that are still scattered around, disorganized. No matter how much I convince myself that the effects of her leaving were realized, logic always won out in the end... And it won in the form of this unfinished letter. With a sigh, I grabbed the letter, folded it as neatly as I could. When the folded letter was in my hands, I was tempted to rip it in half... It was never going to be read, and neither was it going to be sent. It was going to be safer this way.

I succumbed to my temptations, and ripped the letter to pieces. At least this guaranteed that if my father were to walk to this room, he would find one less reason out of many to be angry with me. I stood up, pushing the chair towards my desk and walking over towards the small window... It didn't give me much of a view, as it faced opposite of route 1 and towards the abandoned church that was a long ways down from the road where we lived on... I tried to remember the name of it... St... Francis? Or perhaps it was Assissi... No, I remember now, it was St. Michael.

I opened the window blinders and tried to let some air in... As soon as I breathed in the fresh air, I heard a door slam. Immediately, my heart started to race and I felt adrenaline rush through my body. Instinctively, I closed the window as fast I could, putting the blinds back in place. Then, I quickly lay down on my bed and covered myself with the bedsheets... Trying to make myself look scarce as possible.

I began to shake in fear and nearly whimpered, but I had to keep myself under check. I tried to listen as I could under the sheets. I heard my father's angry voice with my mother's close after. With the muffled sounds, it was hard to distinguish what exactly they were saying... But I was fearing the worst... Father was going to come here... And he was... And he was going to... And...

That line of thinking was enough to send me sobbing, but only once... I pulled the sheets closer to me, and I tried to pull myself together. It was hard, the argument between my parents began to get more intense. I could hear father shouting at the top of his lungs, saying things not dissimilar to what he would say to me. That was not the end, for the argument became more intense, but my father started to quiet down. Then, I heard a sound of someone being punched... The sound immediately silenced my hollering mother, who didn't respond with a gasp, or any confirmation of pain.

In the next few minutes, all I heard was silence in this house. I could hear my frantic heartbeat, and there was nothing I could do slow it down. Eventually, the still silence was broken... I heard hard footsteps caused by the stairway, someone, either my father or my mother, was leaving.

"THOMAS!" I heard my mother's voice scream out my father's name... With sadness and anger in her voice.

It took a few seconds for me to process what had truly happened, but I realized what had just transpired... My father had left. I didn't know if it was permanent or temporary, but he had up and suddenly left the house. I don't know what caused him to react in some way, and I don't know why... Normally, when Father becomes angry, he doesn't leave... He takes his anger out on... Me... Or he drinks away his sorrow with alcohol...

After a few minutes, it felt safe for me to pull off the bed sheets. I didn't bother to remake the bed as I stood up. I was curious to find out what had happened... The lack of father's presence made the whole house safer, but I had no idea of the state that my mother was in. Against my better judgment though, I walked towards my door and opened it as quietly as I could. As I opened it, I saw my mother was nearby, but facing the stairwell. She stood still, but I couldn't see her face.

I gently closed the door behind me and tried to approach her... I had no idea how to make my presence known. I tried not to let my anxiety get to me and tried to brave the panic that was building inside. I inched ever so closer to her...

"Mother?..." I said softly to her, hoping to catch her attention.

It was successful, and she immediately turned to me. Her expression was harsh at first, but it had softened. She approached me and put a hand on my shoulder. Surprisingly, it was gentle, and she put her face at a level close to mine. I could see the weariness in her eyes, the sadness, and the anger.

"What happened?" I asked, my voice soft and cracking at the end.

I saw her sigh visibly, and look down. A habit that my mother did when she had to confess something... It had only piqued my curiosity even more, and truthfully, I was scared to find out what her and father were arguing about...

"Claude... It's about this year's vacation."

That last word made my breathing almost stop... Vacation... _Vacation..._ Then, it clicked in my head. Every year, my family went on vacation to some exotic region or locale. It was too perfect, too true to be true. How could I have possibly missed this detail?

"Are you alright, Claude? You've spaced out." I heard my mother comment.

That statement alone turned me out of my reverie and internal euphoria. I tried to hide the feeling of victory, but the way she said the word... Were the plans getting canceled?

"What about the vacation?" I asked.

That prompted another sigh from her.

"I was asking your father that if we can take you to Hoenn to explore the region with Xavier... It's been two years since you last got to explore, and I really wanted to you to be able to see a new region, to see the sights. I know it's going to be with your brother and your father, but..." My mother rambled.

_He had disagreed,_ I mentally finished. It was disturbing to me to know my father's line of thinking, but even with the presence of Xavier, he wouldn't want me there, even if I tried my best to be an absolute doormat, it wouldn't work. To my father, I was just useless space... A being that should not exist, a bastard in his eyes. Much like Alexis, Xavier was a precious treasure to my father. He was talented, a prodigy in pokemon battling, charismatic, strong, daring, brave, and everything I was not. I was the black sheep, the useless one from the three children.

Due to this, I harbored a strong resentment towards Xavier, but there was nothing I could have done that would have helped. I wasn't talented, I wasn't strong, and there was no way I could ever match up to Xavier. He held my father's attention, he had received his love, and most of all... He had truly become Thomas Sheffield's son. My father was a big influence on him, aside from battling and inheriting a few of mother's traits. Due to this, Xavier hated, no, detested me the way my father does. He too considers me useless, pathetic, annoying, and a waste of space. Before he had became a trainer, he often liked to make that fact known to me...

I sighed, much the same way my mother did... My mother... Like father, she too had considered me useless until Xavier went on her own journey. It was almost an overnight, but subtle change. She had slowly started to care for me, be my anchor when Alexis was unable to be. I had no idea what caused her to shift her perspective on me, but I decided not to think about it... I was grateful that she had given me some sort of love.

"I'm sorry..." My mother suddenly said.

I shook my head at that.

"It's alright" _I didn't want to go anyway._ I added mentally. I then saw her look at her watch and cursing under her breath.

"Sorry... Your father's probably coming back. I'm going to make dinner and let you off tonight. Just go back to your room, alright?" My mother then squeezed my arm and went downstairs.

I didn't have enough time to be able to acknowledge what my mother had said. It was a mad dash, the way she ran. Deep inside, we both knew that father was unable to stay out for long, he would come back. I went back to my room and slowly closed the door, trying not to make a sound. I sat down on the bed and lay down again...

I wanted to berate myself for forgetting that we went on vacation every year, during the summer, and this year would be no different. I remember some of those years distinctly now, especially the vacation two years ago... I was in a city, a large city, and it was all centered around this one tower, this large blue tower that looked beautiful, stunning... I couldn't remember the name of the city or the region it was in, but I remember that...

Regardless, this was too perfect of an opportunity. It was almost too good to be true, I was formulating skeleton plans to escape and alongside, my parents are planning to go to Hoenn, possibly in celebration of Xavier participating in the Ever Grande Conference.

I sat up and looked towards the window... It would be difficult, but I could taste freedom. I knew somewhere along the line, something was bound to go wrong, and most, if not all, possibilities could end up in my death...

But I need to try, it was foolish of me to think that way, but I needed to try...


	3. Execution

**A/N: Enjoy reading.**

* * *

A week had passed since the last exchange that my mother and I had had. Each day during that week was monotonous, with the same structure of happenings everyday... It was almost comforting to experience, but what had happened during those days... It was hard for me to recall without breaking down.

When my Father came back on the day he left, it was evening, just minutes before dinner. What happened that night was uneventful, but I could have sworn I heard sobbing from the master bedroom... Ever since then, my mother had routinely become much more submissive, more catatonic... To the point where she was unable to do chores, and I was left to do them. It had built the structure of the days leading up to now. I would wake up, prepare breakfast, do whatever house chores my mother was unable to do, prepare lunch, do some more chores prepare dinner, do the rest of the chores, and sleep... In between, my father would... My father would lay his hands on me... Each time I... Each time I fail to do the chores properly, or I prepare the food the wrong way he would... He would beat me...

The way he beat me gets worse... And worse... If I do something wrong, he would push me down... And... My father... He would kick me, punch me... As the week went on, it became... There was more of it... And it hurt more... He would beat me into unconsciousness...

It ruined me, every inch of the hurt that he gave me... Is there something wrong with me? Am I truly that incompetent? Am I... Am I...

Tears started to prickle at my eyes and I felt my body become weak... Pain radiated throughout me, and I struggled to get out of the bed I was in. It had only been last night since the last... The last beating... It was possibly the worst one... Of all of them... Not even the fact that I was used to it helped... I could remember the physical pain, but that was it... I don't even remember what had caused it, or _why_, but it happened...

Regardless, I had to get ready for the day... I gently pulled my bed's cover sheets away from, even though my arms protested against me, I sat up and hugged myself in an attempt to try to cushion the residual pain... However, it felt as if my body was breaking apart at the seems, and every action and movement I took, my body would scream in pain. It was a sensation I felt all week, and probably all my life... It was hard to get used to, and it got to the point where I was able to not make a sound whenever something severely ached... But regardless of that, I still felt the pain... And sometimes, it never goes away...

I glanced at the clock, it was already 10 in the morning... It made my heart race for a moment, I had missed breakfast. It was then that I realized that my mother had saved me and did the job for me. My heart had dropped at that realization, I wasn't the only one causing her to overwork... I should have woken up earlier... I shouldn't have let the pain overcome me to such an extent... I didn't want to let my mother suffer even further...

There was nothing I could do about it now, the damage was already done. I reached for the bedside table, feeling for my phone until I felt the rectangular shape of it. I plugged off the charger and looked at the screen... It was a Sunday... It had meant my parents were staying home today. I felt my heart drop, I couldn't bear one more additional day with father staying home all day. I was at my wit's end... The pain was becoming too much.

Against the protests of my body, I slowly started to sit up. I started to zone out until I caught a glance of my backpack... Amidst all of the chaos that this past week has caused, I had forgotten about my escape plan.

I wanted to kick myself when I realized that I had a skeleton plan formulated, but I never acted on it. The chaos of this entire week had scattered my concentration, it had forced me to focus on blocking everything, and focus on staying alive here. Even if my father hates me to my core, he knew me better than I knew myself, and it was surprising how well he can spot my eccentricities, habits, and cadences... It was hard to be one step ahead of him. His intuition can spot any plan I try to devise and any attempt I tried to overpower him through words always failed...

I felt a certain relief that throughout this week, I had all but forgotten about escaping... But ultimately, it was at the forefront of my mind now. As I mulled it over, the more I realized that it really wasn't well thought out... A lot of assumptions had to be made. I could see it play in my head, a mad dash to assemble supplies under the nose of my father and unfortunately, my mother, and trying to escape. There was the vacation that my family had taken every year, but I had no idea _when._

This whole situation was agonizing, and it had caused me to become angry... At myself and at my father. I felt tears trickle my eyes, with that anger turning into desperation. I genuinely had no idea what to do now. My escape plan, if it could even be considered one, was falling apart by the minute. There just too much pain, physically and mentally, I had felt that it had immobilized me, confining me to my bed. I knew I could move, but it felt impossible... It felt like something held my body down and stapled it onto the bed...

I laid down on my bed for what seemed like an hour... In that space of time, I could hear the sounds of shuffling, things being moved around, and hushed chatter. That chatter was probably my parents talking, but it sounded so civil, so quiet. I wasn't expecting that at all, for normally that was the way my parents talked when my siblings were around...

I glanced at the alarm clock and it had read 12. I guess only an hour and a half had truly passed, but that hour felt like an eternity to me. Pain still radiated in my body, but I felt well enough to at least be able to stand up and walk. I gently stowed the blankets away from my body and slowly sat up, trying not to overwork the body. I felt pain, a lot of it, but it wasn't as intense as the pain I felt when I woke up. This gave me some hope.

I slowly stood up from my bed... My legs and torso ached, possibly a combination of what my father did to me and being unstretched, but it didn't cripple me. Somehow, I felt fine, and I wasn't sure if that was a good sign... Regardless, I took it as a blessing, and made my way to the door. I gently laid my head on it, with my ear against the wood. A minute had passed and there was no sound.

That let out a sigh from me and I instinctively put my hands over the door knob... _Claude, this is stupid. Don't do it. _I said mentally, trying to convince myself to go back to bed and just sleep the entire day... But something was defeating my rational side, I was slowly turning the door knob... I don't know whether it was instinct or my irrational side that was doing this. Eventually, I had turned it enough where I could push it open... I did so, but as gently as I could. As I opened it, the door made a little creaking sound, but I managed to keep the opening somewhat silent.

Even though the door was open, I didn't dare try to step out in the open... I used the door as a sort of shield, just in case something happened. Near the stairwell were some luggage, 2 of them that were the type of being moved around, and both were white. Near one of those was a baby blue duffel bag. I didn't hear any sign of my parents, but I kept myself behind the door.

I then heard footsteps on the first floor and my parents talking, somewhat normally. This caused me to promptly pull back and haul myself back into my room, but with the door partially open. I tried to overhear as best I could, but I couldn't pick up a lick of what they were saying. With the luggage, it was possibly about the vacation...

The vacation... Luggage... Bags...

How can I possibly be so stupid? I was too caught up in my fear of being caught that I was only able to piece it together now. By some miracle, my parents decided to up and go this early during the summer, at a time when I was devising plans. I couldn't believe my sheer luck, this was just too good, too good to be true. The pieces were falling together too perfectly...

However, my inner elation was disrupted by the sounds of hard and loud footsteps on the stairwell... I immediately closed the door and kept my hands on the doorknob. My breathing started to become erratic as I realized that those hard footsteps could only belong to one person, my father. I had no idea if he heard me close the door... If he did... I couldn't bear thinking about it all... I kept my breath as steady as I could, clinging onto the doorknob as best I could.

It would've been better for me to go back to bed now and hide under the sheets, but even that wouldn't protect me from him. At least, near the doorknob, I had a few extra seconds of insurance, even if he could easily overpower me by smashing through the door. Regardless, either way was not going to help...

The footsteps stopped, and I heard the luggage being moved... Then, the sounds of footsteps along with luggage being moved had started, becoming slightly more distant as the seconds ticked by. Eventually, they had stopped, and it triggered me to let my hand go from the door handle... I breathed a sigh of relief, I was lucky. Incredibly lucky.

This was disturbing me, this recent streak of luck. It was rare that fate would have the odds stacked in my favor, since it was normally against me, but it was something I needed to be thankful for. Regardless though, it was unnerving me... It was ingrained in to me that for every bit of good fortune that we come across, a wave of bad events occurs, and we may not even be aware of those spanners. It was irrational, but my instincts screamed at me to be vigilant.

I walked to my bed and sat down, there was nothing I could do now but wait... As I was ready to zone out, I heard a knock on the door. It was soft, but that caused me to tense up into a defensive position regardless. After the first few knocks, I didn't dare even try to respond... The knocks were soft, indicating that it was my mother... But a part of my mind told me that it could've been my father too... I just stared at the door, waiting for a response from the other side.

"Claude, it's me, your Mother. I know you're scared, but your father's outside, you'll be safe." I heard her say.

I didn't want to doubt her, but my rational side was telling me that it was my father... I ignored it as best I could and walked over to the door, opening it...

It was indeed my Mother... However, she had looked different... Her eyes were tired and it seemed that she was putting effort into trying to put a smile on her face. She was pale, the warmth in her eyes that was once there was gone. This disturbed me, of all of us, she was possibly the strongest one in the house emotionally. She kept this family together and kept everyone in check. What happened to her?

"Mom..." I say, softly... I was too afraid to ask the questions burning in my mind. _Are you alright? What happened?_

Silently, she motioned for the both of us to sit down on my bed. When we did so, there was a moment of silence. I saw her looking around my room, sadness in her eyes... I simply looked down, and waiting for her to speak. This was a rare occurrence, my mother and I talking so personally like this, and even rarer for her to directly go to my room. Aside from Alexis, I was the only one that saw this room every day and night.

"Claude..." She started, a bit nervous.

I looked up to her eyes, but she glanced away immediately... I looked down after that...

"Your father and I... We're leaving... Today."

I only nodded my head at that. Somehow, I felt no elation, nor happiness at that. Maybe it was the fact that my mother was leaving at this state... There was no joy within me, just dread and emptiness. I glanced at my mother, and she was feeling the same way I was.

"I left you some food on the pantry... I did as best I could without your father noticing... I don't know when we'll be back... But, stay safe..." My mother said, almost as a whisper.

She inched ever so closer to me... This was the first time I had ever seen my mother so vulnerable, so close to me. It was... It was surreal seeing her become so motherly towards me... This was the treatment I expected her to give to Xavier and Alexis, not to me...

I felt myself then hugged by my mother, and all I could do was savor the embrace. This weakened me, emotionally and mentally, and we laid our heads on each others' shoulders. There were no words being exchanged between us, just a comforting silence.

Eventually, we let go of each other. She silently walked out of the room and gently closed the door... When that door was closed, dread had washed over me, gripping me in its cold embrace. I looked around for a moment and I realized, this could potentially be the last time I could see this room... I didn't have to live here anymore. I could roll my escape plan into motion.

I heard the sound of the doors being closed and locked... I took that as my cue.

Tonight, I am leaving...

*LINE BREAK*

I let a few hours pass before I had to get my preparations underway... I planned on leaving at sunset, to ensure that there wouldn't be as many eyes watching my leaving from pallet town and also making sure that my parents would be as far away as possible. During those few hours, I feared that maybe the trip had gone bad, and that they would be returning home and not go altogether. It turned out not to be the case, and the house remained still and empty, but paranoia still crept inside of me.

I glanced at the clock, it had now read 3 in the afternoon. I had to get to work... I immediately stood up and went to my bag, opening it in the process. I proceeded to clean all of the contents inside, papers, school supplies, everything that I wouldn't be using was thrown out. It was a more arduous process than I imagined, because there were things buried beneath those papers that had become dusty and crumpled... It was a mess, but I managed to clean it out. I felt for secondary pockets, and all of them didn't seem to hold anything... I knew that they were somewhat unnecessary and even borderline useless considering how small they were, bur extra space is space I needed.

I closed up the bag and put the straps over my shoulders... It was a long time since I had worn such a light backpack, but it was going to be filled by the time I was done. I sauntered off to my closet door and opened it... Clothes were going to be a necessity, and they needed to be comfortable and light. Since food was going to take up the most, I could probably afford to carry 2 sets of long sleeves at, 2 sweatpants, and a sweater at best... However, running through that mental list, it felt like I was going to be bringing too much...

Regardless, I grabbed those items... I rummaged through the closet for 2 long sleeves, and I found one that was black and one that was gray, with 2 sweatpants that also matched those as well. They were going to get dirty easily, but comfort and practicality was the priority here... I then grabbed a sweater, a brown sweater with faded colors with its brand logo peeling off. Of the sweaters, it was the lightest I had and the one that had gotten through the most abuse since it was brought.

I folded them as neat as I could and placed them on the bag's primary pocket... They took up some considerable space but not to the extent that it was over half. Good, I could check off clothing. Now, it was food.

I remember Mother explicitly mentioning that she had left food in the kitchen pantry... I didn't know what it was or how well it could stand up for traveling. That line of thought prompted me to get out of my room and go downstairs to the kitchen.

Once I reached the kitchen area, I immediately went straight to the pantry doors and opened them. There was food alright, but not much. It seemed as if the only things remaining was the food that my mother prepared, and most of it would not fare well in a journey. There was a few bags of ramen noddle soup, which I was unable to bring since it wasn't instantly ready to eat. One big container of pizza, which I may or may not be able to bring. If worse comes to worse, I'll probably eat it cold. Thankfully, there was also some crackers on the side. I could definitely bring those on the journey.

It wasn't much, but it would make do for now, I would have to make it last. I grabbed a ziplock bag from the pantry's lower level and also grabbed the container. It seemed as if she put the whole box in there... I took five pizzas and sealed them inside. Once that was done, I put back the container into the pantry and grabbed the crackers, setting them on the table.

_Okay... That takes care of... Wait... Water! I need Water!_

How could I have possibly forgotten? I could have all the food I needed, but if I didn't have drinks, the journey was going to be over. I ran right over to the fridge... There wasn't many drinks inside, only 2 bottles of water. Of all the times to be low in stock...

I grabbed those regardless, and placed those on the table next to the crackers and the ziplocked pizza. It definitely wasn't much, but it would have to make do... I reached to feel for my bag behind me, and fortunately, it was there. I removed the holders and set the bag on the table, opening the bag and then carefully stuffing all of the food inside. I first set the pizza in, since it would be the most spacious, then the crackers. It was almost filled, so I flipped the water bottles to the side and had them parallel... The bag was in its limit now, closing was going to be difficult. I reached for the bag's zipper and it was difficult trying to get it up... The water would protest and the zipper wouldn't budge, but after some wrestling and nearly breaking the zipper, the backpack had managed to close. I breathed a sigh of relief and stepped back.

It was rare that I ever had to fight with a backpack's zipper like that, but it still somehow managed to close... What worried me more was just how much it weighed right now. I reached for one of the bag straps and pulled it. It didn't even move at all when I tried. I added more force and it had started to move, but it started to approach the edge of the table... I stopped it right there and turned the bag around. I wasn't going to let something this filled fall. I carefully slung my arms around the straps...

To my surprise, lifting the bag off the table with my shoulders wasn't as nightmarish as I'd anticipated. It still felt incredibly heavy, putting a lot more strain on my shoulders than I'd liked, but it wasn't killing them immediately... With that, I let out another sigh of relief... The preparation stage was done. All I had left to do was wait for the right time to leave. However, as I was about to sit down, it felt as if I was forgetting something crucially important...

I remembered now, my cell phone... How could I have forgotten!? I immediately ran up to my room as fast I could, but my bag had slowed me down... It was taxing trying to get up the stairs, but I needed my phone. I eventually reached my room and looked around... I found my phone lying next to the alarm clock, sitting there innocent with no charger attached to it.

I grabbed it and turned it on, only around one bar left out of four was left and it was almost five from what I could gleam from the phone's clock... I sighed, there wasn't much of a point to bring this phone with me. It was an _old _phone, arguably even ancient. Charging it to its fullest would likely take me to nighttime, it was time I didn't have... I knew I _could_ wait, wait for tomorrow, but something inside compelled me that today was the best time to leave. I put the phone on the table after a few moments of contemplation, it wasn't worth it... It'd either get destroyed or by the time I got to use it, it would be dead.

I went to the door and looked back at my room... A part of me was going to miss it, miss sleeping under a roof, and having cloth cover my body in its comforting warmth. My eyes snaked over to the bed... Did I need a disguise? I was tempted to pull off an old trick I've seen on a TV show once, where I'd place a dummy object to masquerade as myself sleeping. It'd be a neat trick, but I internally knew that it wouldn't work... My father was a smart man, he'd catch on eventually.

I exited the room and an intense anticipation boiled inside me... This was it, this was going to be the moment I leave my home for the first time in my life, under my own volition. I had no idea if it was going to be permanent, or if I would be whisked back here by police or perhaps by, if fate had her cards stacked against me, my father. I tried not to think about it as I walked down the stairs...

I went straight for the front door and grabbed the handle with my hand, instinct prevented me from opening it though... _If they came back, they'd enter through here...It'd be too obvious, they'd immediately know that I'd unlocked it._

It was clear that I didn't think this through enough, I had no proper exit strategy for this house... A very major flaw in the plan, though one that looked small compared to the other things _outside_ of this house, but I wasn't going to let the house I lived in stop me... I needed to think. I knew that there was the front door right nearby me, but there was only one other door in this house that acted as an exit, and that was the kitchen backdoor.

_Of course... The kitchen backdoor._ I was an idiot for not realizing it sooner, _of course_ there's a backdoor. Exiting through that pertained less risks than going through the front, since I don't remember a time where we literally entered going to the kitchen...

With that, the anticipation exploded within me again... It took me by surprise, how unconsciously enthusiastic I was about leaving this house. The fear that held all of those emotions back was gone, replaced with a bravado and courage that I never knew I had... I knew it only came simply because my parents, specifically my father, were gone, but it gave me an internal relief... A relief that it wouldn't be my own cowardice that would stop me.

I walked towards the kitchen and motioned towards the door... I held my hand on the doorknob and looked back at the kitchen one last time. I wanted to feel nostalgia when my eyes looked around the room, but nothing bad memories came from this kitchen. With a sigh, I opened the door, revealing the outside world...

I immediately feel the cold air envelop me as I glanced around me... I hesitantly took one step outside the small steps and found my feet on the concrete. This was too overwhelming, I wasn't ready... I wanted to run back in...

_No Claude... No! You have to keep going! It's the only way out! _My mind screamed, begging for me not to give up now.

I gave in and closed the kitchen door aggressively... The heaviness of the bag that I was carrying reminding me that giving up now would be foolish. Rushed as it was, giving up would render everything for naught, and I knew I'd be stuck in the endless cycle that my father has wrought on me...

I made my way around the house and then walked to the dirt road that my sister and I had walked on a week ago... The dirt road the made its way towards the center of Pallet Town.

I put one foot on that dirt road and looked back towards the house I lived in... No nostalgia nor good memories came to my mind, just a hollowness, an emptiness... However, a small hope bloomed within me as I looked on, a hope that this would be the last time I'd see this house for the rest of my life... That today would be the last time I'd ever be inside.

I turned my back on that house, and consequently, my old life...


	4. Exposed

**A/N: Hello again. Enjoy reading.**

**UPDATE: Looking through the original version, it seems that almost all of the dialogue was somehow erased when I uploaded this chapter. This should remedy the problem. Once again, thank you very much for reading.**

* * *

I walked down the dirt path as fast I could, trying to reach the city center so I could depart for route 1 without any attention down on me. I tried not to look around, but my thoughts could not stop what my body was doing in a panic. I glanced around as I walked and noticed that there was virtually no one around down this pathway... It scared me, heightening my sense or urgency and my pace unconsciously increasing. So many things had ran through my mind... What if someone noticed? What if my father was here right now? What if...

I heard the sounds of chatter in the distance... From the sounds of it, they were talking about Pokemon. As it got louder, I wasted no time in going off the dirt road and trying to find a place to hide. Since it was just flat grasslands, all I could hide behind was just some bushes... Thankfully, I had made some far enough inroads that there was a modest house nearby, with bushes that lined the front that had an opening in the middle. I ran through that opening and hid behind, though not without my bag rustling the bushes.

_Damn it..._ I kept myself as low as I could, my bag touching the ground and the straps sliding themselves off my body, but I needed to keep both of them around my shoulders, so I gripped both of them for dear life... I heard the chatter getting louder.

"Did you hear that, Jimmy?" It was a girl's voice, somewhat high pitched but it had shown signs of maturity...

I kept myself silent, trying to keep my breathing as quiet as possible... The charade seemed to be working, I didn't hear them walking towards where I was.

"Nothing, Marina... Guess you're probably just hearing things." The boy teased to this Marina.

I leaned in closer against the bushes, but I didn't dare try to get up... I needed to get out of here before I risked getting noticed by someone.

"So, did you hear, The Marshall's going to visit Pallet Town and have a vacation here of sorts." Marina immediately said...

I was amused by the fact that she immediately tried to change the subject, but hearing say those words... 'The Marshall,' it stirred a faint recognition within me. I vaguely remember conversations where my family, oftentimes either my father or Xavier, would drop that name... Mostly in a disparaging or even mocking tone.

"Really? Well I can't wait to see him, it's been too long since we last saw each other. I wanna battle him again." Jimmy responded.

Were they friends of his? I desperately wanted to ask of them who this 'Marshall' was, but I was too afraid to... I didn't want to be recognized as Xavier himself, for he has something of a... Reputation amongst trainers, at least that's what I've heard from hearsay via my sister. Being Xavier's twin, I looked very much alike to him, even though we diametrically oppose each other in every other possible way.

I had also realized one more thing... Xavier and this 'Marshall' were also rivals. _Of course_ I'd be forgetting it right now, but their talk of the Marshall and my brother dominating my thoughts had brought all of it to the forefront now. The dramatic TV battles between them that my father obsessively watched, the way they taunted each other on TV (with Xavier instigating most of them, and his taunts so expertly worded that they conveyed very nasty messages without even sounding offensive!), and how they just looked at each other with such an intense ferocity that... I could feel the emotions _through_ the TV. It was scary, and it was... It was just mental.

Whenever they faced against each other on TV, Xavier was the one to win the battles... And like everything he has done as a trainer, I remember him making that fact known to my face often. I didn't want to get involved in this whole rivalry business, but I just felt sorry for the Marshall. Every time he lost, I remember glancing at the TV and seeing his trademark red beret cloud the tears in his eyes... Even though I couldn't offer anything of support to him, every time I watched Xavier's rival on TV, I would silently cheer him on to win.

I noticed that the chatter had gotten much more silent, until I could no longer hear it. I took that as my cue to silently get up, I could see two figures heading down towards the Sheffield house... For what? There was only a church... _Wait, what if they wanted to go to Cinnabar Island... Of course, this path is one of the three entrances to Route 21._

I set myself on the path to the center of Pallet Town, on the way to Oak's lab. I held onto the bag straps and began to walk. I looked up to the sky in occasion, it was getting darker, with hues of blue starting to appear. I had no watch with me, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was already half an hour past six. I was definitely not making good time whatsoever, so I sped my pace up, keeping to the edge of the dirt road and not at the center to avoid any passersby.

I needed a new plan of action... I was out in the open, so where do I go? The first answer that came to my mind was Viridian City. It was the city that immediately followed route 1 and I would find something that could count as shelter. After that, it would be the Viridian Forest... _Crap... At this rate, I'm not going to make it far from Pallet Town_. However, my goal was just to get as far away from here as possible. I needed to get out of this town, and quickly.

I kept my pace as brisk as possible, trying not to stare at the slowly setting sun. Even though the light's pace felt slow and lurching, it felt as if it was progressing faster than I'd like. A light blue hue was starting to appear over the sky, and that had prompted me to nearly run to the city center.

It didn't take long, but I eventually reached Oak's lab, which laid just at the edge of the center of Pallet Town. However, I could not take a rest here, and I needed to move before someone inside the lab came out and noticed the backpack on me. I made my way onto the road that would lead me to Pallet Town, the convergence point that would lead to the one main to Pallet Town. My walk to the center was slower and more people were around. I risked a glance at the strangers walking down the various paths of pallet town. I saw a few children running around the center fountain, a few people that looked like they were seasoned trainers, and some parents watching over their children.

It relieved me, to see that there was a sense of normalcy. However, I saw a few of those trainers glance at me, one with curiosity, and a few others that seemed to glare at me. I turned my head away from those trainers and increased my pace. Something about those glares pierced into my soul and made me feel incredibly self-conscious... They had no reason to do so. I had no Pokemon with me, just a bag.

I didn't want to think about it any further, and soon enough, I had found myself facing the invisible border between Pallet Town and Route 1... My legs became weak and nearly began to buckle as I stared at the vast expanses of Kanto from where I stood. This was it, this was truly where my old life would end... The beginning of many ten year old's rite of passage started here... It felt like the beginning of a journey, something special that could potentially lead me to the one road where I want to lead my life to. Yet, worry had concealed all of those joyous emotions, giving me fear and worry in its place.

I slowly paced myself through the exit of Pallet Town, trying to steady my breathing. Was this the feeling of going on a journey? An anxiety, a panic settling within you? I didn't want to believe it, but those two were all I felt as I walked... I tried not to look down on the ground as much as possible, hoping not to bump into someone. Thankfully, there weren't many trainers walking around, I could spot one and possibly two walking towards the town behind me, but that was it.

I kept walking until anxiety started to settle in, my legs had started to ache from the constant walking along with the weight of the backpack on my back... The sun was almost truly set at this point and it was about to be nighttime. Ahead of where I stood now was road, _lots_ of it. I was ways away from Pallet Town now, but reaching Viridian City would be impossible if I wanted to get there before midnight. All I could do now was just slowly walk myself towards a tree and sit down against its trunk. I felt the thirst burn my throat, and my hands instinctively were on my bag... It would be unwise to try and immediately waste the water so early on.

Hunger had also made its sensation known as well, with my stomach grumbling and the unpleasant sensation running through my stomach... It was tempting to feast right now and start munching one pizza and drink some water. However, I needed to make those supplies last... Unpleasant as these feelings of hunger and thirst were, I needed to make sure that my supply can last until at least after Virdian Forest.

As much as fatigue wore me down, I needed to keep walking. I stood up, feeling the weight of the bag even more... It felt like I was carrying rocks... Had I packed too much? I disregarded the gradually increasing pain from my bag and willed my legs to walk...

It wasn't long before I had fell to my knees in utter tiredness... My shoulders could no longer support the bag nor for my hunger and thirst to be at the forefront at my mind. I couldn't go on any further now... I was too tired, too weak... I am... I am not strong enough... I wasn't strong enough...

I removed the straps from my shoulders and stood up once again. If they couldn't carry them, then I would use my hands to drag them along. I clasped my hands on one of the straps and dragged them to the nearest tree. By this point, there was no more light around me... Just the blue sky that was gradually becoming black... Night had truly settled in now... The most dangerous time for me...

I had been lucky so far before the sun had set... I had yet to run into any Pokemon thus far, but I felt as if that luck was going to disappear. The nighttime would surely make a majority of the wild Pokemon become much more active... Even though there were no trainers around here, thank goodness, it still felt as if there were things moving around the tall grass around the dirt path of route 1... Even now, I could hear the sounds of Pokemon in the trees behind me... Possibly Rattata and Pidgey... I knew they were young Pokemon that weren't supposed to scare trainers, but hearing their chirps and cries around the route heightened my anxiety...

I reached the tree and put my back against the trunk, sliding down on it... Once I felt myself on the grass, I reached for my bag and made sure it was as close to me as possible. I opened it to find that the bag was a bit of a mess, but nothing had been totally destroyed so far... There was some damage on the crackers due to movement, but aside from that, nothing else... I grabbed one bag of the three packs of crackers I had and opened it. I ate the whole pack as fast I could, and it had managed to somewhat quench the hunger in my stomach... I was still somewhat hungry, but it was enough to satisfy my mind... Once I was done, I crumbled the empty plastic and put it on one of the bag's outer pockets. I looked inside the bag again and grabbed one of the bottles.

I felt the bottle and my worst fears were confirmed, it was already warm. I opened it regardless, it was just going to be one more displeasurable fact of this journey I have to deal with. I put the bottle's tip to my mouth, being careful not to chug it down and resisting the temptation to empty it all. I stopped myself when I started to gulp it down, with my throat wanting a lot more, but I managed to resist the thirst enough for me to close the bottle and put it back on the bag...

I wasn't sure if I could go on any further than this... As I lay against the tree, I felt the fatigue of everything that I'd done today actually hit me. I wasn't expecting to be this drowsy already. I had no tent to sleep in, but I needed to rest.

I closed the bag and decided to lay it flat on the ground... I lay my head down next to it with my hands next to it, using the pillow.

Laying down on the grass and dirt felt uncomfortable, but I felt sleep overtake me...

*LINE BREAK*

I felt my eyes hit by the rays of the sun, dragging me out of the unconsciousness that I was in setting me into the world of the awake... However, I hadn't expected the sunlight to be this intense, so bright. It jolted me up rather quickly and I had felt for my bag... Miraculously, it was still there, though it was opened. That immediately made my heart jump, _someone stole from it... Who?_

I looked at the bag's contents in a rush, even though my body was still not fully conscious... That moment of panic was enough for me to truly wake me up. I had found that _all_ of the crackers were gone... Their wrappers hastily opened along with some of the insides of the bag torn apart... Even though they were just snacks, those crackers were still resources I could've used to make myself last... To know that they were gone, in that one instant when I wasn't even aware... It brought me down...

"Hey, are you alright?"

_What!? No!_

That had immediately sent me to a panic. Even though the voice was familiar, fear radiated in my body. Who was that? Why were they concerned for me? Were they going to hurt me? I immediately clasped for my bag and hugged it, not wanting to let anyone touch it... I didn't dare look up.

"Jimmy! You idiot, look at what you've done!" A girl had shouted, her voice familiar.

"Well, I couldn't help it! The poor guy looked so... Lost!"

_Jimmy?..._ Of all the luck that I could've had... I remember now, the two people I had overheard talk about the Marshall yesterday afternoon were the ones who would find me. I looked up, and my intuitions were confirmed. I saw Jimmy and the blue-haired girl, Marina, argue... They weren't even aware of my presence, so I slowly let go of my bag and started to close it. As I did so, the argument between the two had started to die down... I glanced at them for a moment, pensive and distrusting eyes on the girl, and a concerned look on the boy... Their looks were getting uncomfortable, and I simply looked down on my bag again.

"Hey, look who's awake. Are you alright?" Jimmy had asked me, trying incredibly hard to seem welcoming.

I looked up and gave him a nod. He seemed to believe it by giving an enthusiastic smile of his own, and he helped me up from the ground. I immediately turned around to reach for my bag and slung it on. I was prepared to make my leave until I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around, and it was Jimmy who stopped me. Annoyance boiled within me but I needed to keep it down... He seemed nice, but I was wasting time here... I needed to get to Viridian as quick as I can.

"Where are you going? You don't really look like the type to journey. I don't think you even have a Pokemon!" He said.

"I was going to Viridian City..." I responded, my voice weak and a bit throaty. Had I gotten sick?

"For what?" This time, it was Marina who asked it. Her tone was harsh, and it had felt like a punch to the gut hearing that.

I looked to her for a few seconds when she had said that question... Unlike Jimmy, it was clear that she hadn't trusted me at all. I felt her eyes trying to prod me, trying to reach into my memories and expose them. I immediately looked away. What was I going to answer? That the only reason why I want to go to Viridian City is that I ran away from home? That I wanted to escape from my father and not look back?

"I... I wanted to get away..." I answered coolly as I could, though my voice had shaken which betrayed my utterly low confidence and fear.

Regardless, it didn't placate her at all. It only satisfied Marina enough that she looked away from me. _At least she's no longer giving me the evil eye..._ I heard Jimmy chuckle at me, though apologetically. I looked up at him...

"Why is she..." I wanted to ask why she was so moody around me. Was it something about me? Did I say something in my sleep?

"Why she doesn't like you? Well... You look like someone the both of us know, and it's someone that we don't really like." Jimmy whispered to me.

I was about to ask 'who,' and then I remembered who I was related to... Of course I would remind them of Xavier Sheffield. Aside from the hair, clothes, fitness, and the general messy state I was in, I was identical to him in the face. I wanted to roll my eyes at myself... I felt sheepish. This was the first time where I met trainers that had come across Xavier himself. I had _no_ idea how to handle this, nor even how interact with that revelation in mind.

I thought of myself different from Xavier, but evidently from my face, I wasn't much different at all. I wanted to smack my brother for giving this kind of reputation to the Sheffield family. I wondered how Alexis was dealing with this as well...

"Hmm, I think you know who I'm talking about, don't you? Xavier Sheffield?" Jimmy smiled.

I nodded hastily. I couldn't bear to think about Xavier any longer or face anyone that hates him... I wasn't proud of my family, but they were the only reasons why I even have a name on this earth. Much as I hated Xavier, it still feels horrible to hear that the Sheffields are horrible people...

"I'm so sorry... I have to go... I'm sorry about whatever this Xavier did... I..." I said.

Before I could start rambling, I immediately sped off towards Viridian City. I willed my legs to move as fast they can, though my bag was making it hard to run fast.

"Wait! WAIT!" I could hear Jimmy scream through the air.

I kept running and running. Even though pain was beginning to build up in my legs, I had not felt this free in _years_. Running through route 1 made me feel alive. Eventually, fatigue had started to set in, and the voices of Jimmy and Marina were long gone... My legs gave out and I was down to my knees. I had no idea how much distance I made between them and myself, but I had never felt so satisfied... I willed myself to a tree and sat down. I could afford to splurge and rest a bit before I set off again.

I opened my bag and reached for the ziplocked bag of pizzas. I used up a lot more energy than I'd like, I _knew_ I shouldn't have run today, but I couldn't convince myself that it was a bad idea... It didn't delete that sensation of freedom, nor that absolute pleasure of the wind on your skin. Perhaps the only downside was how _tired_ I was already, and what I presume to be acid in my leg was causing them to ache.

I ate two pizzas and drank from the water that I opened last night... I felt very tempted to chug it all down but I managed to leave the water just a quarter of a way full. I knew this would not help me in my survival chances, I really needed to make all of this last, but a part of me also said that I needed the amount I ate. Before I let my mind take me on an internal debate, I closed my bag, put it on, and set off for Viridian City once again.

I decided to walk this time... As I walked, the frequency of trainers had started to increase, and I could see buildings off into the distance. Missing supplies be damned, this had sent my heart and emotions soaring. I was able to accomplish something after all, even though it was simply going through route 1 to Pallet Town. It still felt great to see the buildings inching ever so closer.

_Damn... I feel pathetic just for celebrating walking_... I knew reaching Viridian City really was nothing, but it was a start...

I wondered what I was going to do once I reached Virdian... After Viridian, there was Viridian Forest and then Pewter City. I had _no_ idea what I was going to do, and there were certainly going to be much more trainer running around considering the fact that Pewter has a gym. I'd have to figure it out I guess... But the fact that I didn't plan this little 'excursion' (or escape) out at all was getting to me. It was uncomfortable, but I tried to shake off those feelings... But the seed was already planted, and I couldn't help but start to feel slightly disheartened...

My pace had started to slow down, and I began to glance at the other trainers that were walking around me to calm myself down. It was then that I realized how harsh _some_ of them were. I could see the hatred in some trainer's eyes against me, especially ones that were from older trainers. The young ones were merely curious me, but mistrusting. That had caused me to pull on my bag's straps for stress and I had fastened my pace towards Viridian... I wished I didn't look in their faces... What was I doing to make everyone so mad at me? I knew I looked terrible and unprepared, but what did I do?

I silently sighed, and I felt a heavy feeling overcome my body. A feeling that I was familiar with when I knew I could buckle under and start crying. However, I tried to keep those feelings down, I tried to let those feelings bubble under me and not let anyone see me breaking down. I kept going, ignoring the stares that everyone kept giving me... I looked at the buildings that were closing in and I tried to focus on that instead.

Eventually, I had reached the city. By the time I had reached the city, there were definitely much more people around me now and I no longer felt as if I was being stared at... The city was bigger than I'd imagined, especially for one that doesn't have any skyscrapers to it. The buildings around the edge of the city and some on the center were somewhat tall, but tall in the sense that they were probably apartment buildings. It felt overwhelming as I walked on the sidewalks of the entrance road of city, and it didn't help that I could hear some automobiles driving around the city.

I was tempted to take a break, but I had no idea of what the city's layout was. I was absolutely clueless as to how to make my way through here. There seemed to be one main street, which was the street I came from. I assumed that if I just walked straight forward, that I'd be able to get to route 2 without much of a hassle. Even with that assumption in mind, I needed to find something or someone that could give me directions... I did not want to wander around aimlessly in a city... And the number of people walking around was beginning to unnerve me.

I started to walk, just to calm my nerves. I needed to look for a map, for _something_, to guide me... I kept walking down the main street, but either the maps were just impossible to spot or my nerves were making it hard to focus, but I could see no maps. So there was that option nixed... I didn't want to ask other people for directions, prideful as it was. If trainers had reacted to my presence with glares and hatred, I didn't want to know how others would react... All I had was to merely follow my assumption that this main road would lead to route 2.

I kept walking down the main road, stopping when the cars needed to go through... The city wasn't particularly too large, the overwhelming feelings had led me to overestimate the largeness of Viridian. Yet regardless, it was a... It was a very unique feeling walking down an urbanized city. It wasn't much of a concrete jungle, but it was an experience I'd never thought I have in this age. At a certain point, I saw that there was another road that was similar and as equally large as this one... What was particular about that road was that there was an abundance of trainers walking through it. Most seemed somewhat older, and the ones that had let their Pokemon out looked incredibly experienced and tough.

It was the route that had led to the Indigo League... This was the first step to participating to the Indigo Conference after attaining the eight badges. A weird feeling went through me as I looked on at those trainers... This was the road that my brother had once walked on, and so did the Marshall as well. Eventually, my sister would be walking down this road as well. I felt a slight pang of jealousy for those walking down. Those trainers have accomplished so much, fought for the right to participate in the conference... It broke my heart slightly, but I had no right to feel that jealousy... It was my decision after all, it was my decision to not be a trainer... Even as I reminded myself of that, those feelings still lingered.

I realized I wasn't walking, and I felt myself being pushed slightly when the crowd behind me started to walk. _Oh!_ It sent me into a panic, and I started to follow the crowd down the main road, with that route to the Indigo League disappearing from my eyes in a flash.

I kept walking forward, trying not to look back and focus on the road ahead. It seemed as if my assumption was right, as I could see the first signs of a dirt road being formed. It scared me as to how fast I was making this all go. In about a few minutes, if I didn't delay it, I'd be in another route. After the city, there was the Viridian Forest. This would be the first area that would have trainers that _want_ to battle you, so I needed to be crafty... And there was a lot more tall grass to walk in to, plus bug Pokemon to contend with... _Damn it, I'm screwed..._

I had reached the beginning of the dirt path and noticed it was simply just trainers walking around as passersby now. I was sad that I couldn't spend more time in Viridian City but I needed to be on the move. I kept walking towards the entrance to Viridian Forest, which looked incredibly menacing... Even though I could see some of the forest beyond, the small opening that was outlined by the separated trees still had enough darkness that I couldn't fully see everything.

I shook my head, I needed to get through this... My goal right now was to get to Pewter City as fast as possible. I could rest there at least, and maybe I'd run into my sister...

I reached the entrance to Viridian Forest and walked in, trying to keep down my fear. I wanted to turn away immediately once I did so. I could hear the _sounds_ of the bug Pokemon crawl around me, the Caterpie, the Weedles, and god forbid, _the Beedrills..._ Of all the Pokemon in this world that existed, I did not want to _ever_ encounter a Beedrill. God knows how it happened, but those Pokemon nearly _killed _me when I was 5... Yet here I was, in their home.

I heaved a large sigh, trying to build a resolve. It was genuinely tempting to just chicken out and go back to the city, but it would render the walk here useless... I decided to chance it and started my trek through the Viridian Forest.

The first thing I had noted was there was a split once I made my first steps. Left or right... I chose the latter, with my gut instinct telling me that going towards the left would lead me nowhere. I tried to avoid trying to walk on the tall grass as much as possible, though there were moments where it was necessary for me to step on it, due to the fact that the deeper I went, there would be less short grass for me to walk on... I wasn't even far into the forest yet!

It wasn't long before I had stumbled upon a new patch of short grass, which opened a little bit to the right... I breathed a sigh of relief... I had yet to risk any close calls by walking through that patch of tall grass. However, I had heard the sounds of a battle commencing... Were there trainers _already_? I glanced around as hard as I could, scurrying over to one of the nearby trees. I peeped over the trees I was on and my suspicions of trainers around were confirmed. There was a bug catcher and a young rookie trainer battling, and both of them looked young, just as young as my younger sister.

I wasn't sure how I was able to quietly sneak by the both of them... I had my monstrosity of a bag with me, which was bound to make any sound if I tried to sneak around. I then thought about running... Even though this bag made it hard to run, I could try and chance it. I wanted to thank that rookie trainer for keeping that bug catcher in a battle... At the very least, I did not have to deal with the bug trainer trying to challenge me.

I took a close glance at the battle, and it seemed as if the bug catcher knew as if he was going to lose. The other trainer, the challenger, had a Charmander in front of him as well. I took that as my cue to start running. I didn't care if it was going to distract them, I wait any longer, my window was going to be gone.

I ran as fast I could, but my pace was sluggish and I ran out of breath far more quickly than I did this morning... I managed to get some distance before they could notice, but I had ended up tripping... I felt myself slam on down to the grass floor, with my knees taking the brunt of the damage and my bag smothering me... An intense pain rang throughout my body, and I almost screamed in utter agony.

I had just enough strength to remove the bag off of me, setting it off on the other side... However, even then, I had found it hard just to get up... The pain radiated the worst on my knees. My face contorted in pain, and it felt like my knees were set on a furnace...

I looked up to see where I was, and fear exploded inside of me. I had landed myself right next to a tree, and I was lying down in the middle of tall grass. I wanted to curl up and just stop moving right here... Everything's falling apart... I wouldn't make it out of here alive after all... Maybe... Maybe it's best if I just waited here... Waited here for life to take me away... Or maybe... If... No... That would never happen...

I suddenly heard the sounds of Pokemon approaching... I felt the adrenaline instantly running through my body. _No, I am not going to die here, I'm making it out of here alive._ I looked around to see the source of the sounds...

No... no... This couldn't be... No...

So many Beedrill... An Ariados crawling out of a tree, hissing at me... The Pokemon in front of me right now, all of my worse fears come to life...

This was... This was... I needed to run... I willed for my legs to have enough strength for me get up and run... And somehow, they did... Wobbly as they were, I was still standing. I still felt the pain, but it was nothing compared to the fear I was feeling now...

I couldn't face it any longer... I ran, I tried to run as far as I could from... From _them_. I didn't care about anything else, no... I...

It wasn't far, but I had managed to reach a tree that was surrounded by small glass... Once I reached that tree, I had stopped there... I fell to my knees... I didn't know if it was from exhaustion... Or sadness... But I didn't care.

A heavy feeling came through me again... This time, I couldn't stop it... Tears started to prickle my eyes and I felt sobs wrack my body...

Why... _Why_ couldn't I do anything _right!?_ Why am I so useless!? Why am I... Why... Why do I even exist?

"_You're worthless, Claude. You're of no use to anyone, at all." F-father?_

"_Why can't you be more like you brother, Xavier? He can pass all of his tests and still be friendly with Pokemon?" M-mother?_

"_HA, HA, Loser Claude! Loser Claude!" X... Xavier?_

"_You're nothing to me... You're NOTHING." _

"_You'll never be a good trainer."_

"_You shouldn't have even been born. You just came with Xavier."_

"_You should've died."_

My heart shattered into pieces as those fragments of my past kept replaying in my head... My heart broke because of how true they all were... Why did I run away? Why was I under the delusion that I meant something?...

I never meant anything at all... To anyone... I was a... I am a nobody... The loser that is afraid of Pokemon... The loser that can't even handle Pokemon... The loser who can't and will never match up to his twin brother... The loser that is... No one...

I plagued everyone's life... I caused my mother so much pain... I was useless to my father... I was an annoyance to my brother... I burdened my sister with my problems... I entitled myself to so many things... That I never even gave back...

I didn't care about living anymore... Maybe... Maybe this was the ultimate fate of my life... Letting death come to me in a forest...

I glanced up around me... Seeing a group of Butterfree surround me with menacing looks... It would've scared me, but I didn't care anymore... Of course they'd take no pity on me... Who would? Why would anyone care for me?

I pathetically lay myself down on the ground... If they were the ones responsible for my death, then so be it...

Nothing mattered anymore... I turned my face down to the ground... I could hear the sounds of Pokemon being released... An attack being called...

It didn't matter though... What else does?

I just want this to end...


End file.
